On Suicide

Yesterday I found out that one of my teenage heroes, Reckful, committed suicide.

He was an esports player (one of the best rogues on WoW) and my favorite streamer on Twitch, I used to spend hours watching his live stream every day. I still have two of his t-shirts. Just the other day I told my wife that if I could meet anyone and just have dinner with them, hang out, grab a beer, talk about life, it would probably be Reckful.

Yesterday I found out that he killed himself in July. He always struggled with mental health and depression, and he shared those struggles semi-publicly. He had a lot of friends (and fans) who deeply loved him. But COVID and the lockdown sealed the deal for him. The isolation and loneliness were too much for him to handle. The two things he enjoyed most were spending time with his friends IRL and going out to eat, both weren't possible anymore for weeks on end.

As I said, he always struggled with depression, so this didn't come out of nowhere. His older brother committed suicide when he was a kid and Reckful tried committing suicide before. People close to him were aware of his mental state and tried to help.

I never really dealt with depression and I never lost someone close to me to suicide, this is the closest I've gotten to feeling devastated and saddened by someone taking their own life. I can't fathom how it must be to his close friends & family.

This needs to be talked about more. Suicide rates are on the rise. People dealing with mental health issues feel like they did something wrong. Or that they're weak, that it's their fault. They feel like they're a burden to people if they bring it up.

Pay attention to the people around you. If they tell you they're dealing with depression, listen. Don't write it off as "oh you're just a little sad because you can't go out to restaurants anymore." You never know what someone is going through, be gentle with them, ask questions. Allow them to share their struggles and to be vulnerable by making it clear that you won't make fun of them, no matter what they're going through.

And if you're dealing with depression or mental health, reach out. Talk to people about it. You're not a burden, you're human. It's ok to struggle. It's ok to ask for help. You’re important.

Rest in peace, Reckful.